We invited someone over for dinner

Our family got hyggelig last night. And we invited people to join us.

We invited some of our extended family. They happen to live very close, but we rarely make the time to gather socially. To be honest, I am not the best at being social. So I started small and made it fun. We made plans to have dinner together, paint pumpkins, and watch a classic Halloween movie.

It went better than I’d hoped. Once the Kraken was situated (after four open bottles of paint poured on the table in quick succession) things were very relaxed and creative. The stress melted away as we got into our projects. And the fact that we were all working on our own individual projects meant that there didn’t have to be small talk if we didn’t feel like it. Some of us barely talked, others kept up a disjointed conversation, stopping as we got involved in some aspect of painting and picking up again as we finished different parts. 

The social interaction was good for all of us. I knew our guests were dealing with a lot of stress, and we wanted to let everyone relax and unwind in a safe place where everyone would be respected and appreciated for who they were. We picked activities that would showcase everyone’s strengths and allow for display and bragging rights on social media.

We felt connected on a deeper level than usual. We were creating together, even though our projects were separate. We created fun memories and started new traditions. And people felt special. They felt appreciated, talented, and wanted.

We hit a lot of items on the Hygge Manifesto from Meik Wiking’s The Little Book of Hygge. Let’s see how we did.

Hygge Manifesto Scorecard:

Atmosphere: 2/10 

I didn’t light any candles, but we did have the lights down for the movie. Does that count?

Presence: 8/10 

There was a lot of personal interaction. The only use of phones were to research ideas for our pumpkin painting or to take pictures or post videos of our fun. Absent while posting.

Pleasure: 9/10 

Snickerdoodles. Yum. And popcorn and movie snacks. But I forgot drinks.

Equality: 10/10

No one person dominated the conversation. Almost everyone pitched in at some point with the prep or cleanup.

Gratitude: 10/10

Dinner was amazing. The cook was thanked multiple times. And at the end of the night, everyone remarked on how nice the evening had been and how we needed to do it again. 

Harmony: 9/10 

There was no competition for best pumpkin. Each one was unique and amazing in it’s own way, even the Jackson Pollock knock-off done by the Kraken. And everyone got complimented. Although one got more attention than the others.

Comfort: 7/10 

After, we all settled onto the couch for the movie. Nice and comfy. Put our feet up. But we forgot to pull out the blankets.

Truce: 10/10 

No drama present. We ignored any work-related issues and just got lost in the creativity. Oh. Except for little Jackson Pollock, who wanted to help everyone with their pumpkins.

Togetherness: 10/10 

We watched a classic Halloween movie appropriate for all ages. Many of us talked about memories from the last time we’d watched it, a long time ago. We also talked about Halloweens past.

Shelter: 10/10 

It was pleasantly quiet for the most part as everyone worked and painted. We had some great music playing in the background and many of us were singing along. There was no criticism other than self-criticism, and when that happened others were quick to refute it. It was a safe and positive environment.

Adding up the numbers we came out with a score of 85/100. A solid ‘B’ seems just about right. We didn’t plan it to be hygge, but we did a really good job on most of these. It just came naturally.

It was a great night. There is definitely something positive about being social.

What did I learn from this?

Embrace social gatherings. As long as they’re hygge.